Flying Rat NYC

Happy Monday

2010-09-27T08:37:00.000-04:00

Oh, You Fancy, Huh?

2010-09-24T04:38:00.001-04:00

Ooohh La-La, I guess rich people get their bargains at the $39 Dollar Store.

Part Of This Complete Breakfast

2010-09-14T01:06:00.003-04:00

I'm not quite sure when Chocolate Banana Splits became standard breakfast fare, but the box says its a good source of Vitamins and Minerals so it can't be THAT bad for you......right?

It's Friday!!

2010-09-10T08:10:00.000-04:00

Truth In Advertising

2010-09-10T08:07:00.004-04:00

Judging by the visual aid used to illustrate their "100% Natural" claim, it looks like the owner of this fruit smoothie cart has a thing or two to learn about truth in advertising.

Happy Monday

2010-05-24T09:22:00.002-04:00

The Gift That Keeps On Giving....Nightmares

2010-05-24T09:20:00.001-04:00

This crazy looking candelabra is a sure fire way to freak out children and adults of all ages.

Lock It Up

2010-05-24T09:13:00.001-04:00

There's going to be a really happy unicyclist or really sad bicyclist returning to this locked up wheel.

Say Cheese!

2010-04-25T17:53:00.001-04:00

It's Friday!!

2010-04-23T09:40:00.001-04:00

Even Our Animals Are Spoiled

2010-04-23T09:36:00.005-04:00

Yet another reason for people to hate America. You know there's a problem when our dogs eat better than most people around the world.

Know Your Market

2010-04-23T09:22:00.004-04:00

The other day I noticed the DVD guy outside my office was selling this Indiana Pacers Greatest Games DVD. Trying to sell this DVD in NYC is about as easy as selling a Hitler's Greatest Hits DVD in Israel ...it ain't happening.

Hey Pacers fans, how's that Greatest Games Vol. 2 coming along? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Spring Jamboree

2010-04-18T21:38:00.000-04:00

http://belmontloungenyc.com/

Total Recall Vs. RoboCop 2 and The Life Lesson Learned

2010-04-13T21:04:00.003-04:00

The other day while I was watching TV, the not so classic Arnold Schwarzenegger Sci-Fi thriller "Total Recall" came on. Whenever I see Total Recall or hear it mentioned, I remember the life lesson I learned from watching it 20 years ago.

Back in '90 I was 10 years old, and a HUGE RoboCop fan. I some how got my hands on a VHS copy of RoboCop and watched it any chance I had. I loved ALL things RoboCop. I would draw him, I had the RobCop game on Commodore 64, and I even loved my Uncle's Ford Taurus, because that's the car that RoboCop drove in the movie.

So, when I heard that RoboCop 2 was coming out in theaters, It was no surprise to my family that I wanted to see it. Luckily my Uncle Ralphie promised to take me....that day he became my favorite Uncle.

As the movie opening got closer, I got more and more excited. "How could they top the original Robocop?" I wondered. More Explosions? More Ford Taurus'? More baby food? I truly couldn't wait to see this movie.

when the day came to head to the theater, Uncle Ralphie broke my heart with the news that RoboCop 2 got terrible reviews (after watching the trailer again those bad reviews probably makes sense). How could it be? All the anticipation dashed with 2 thumbs down? I was so bummed out.

My Uncle suggested that we go see the new Arnold Schwarzenegger movie TOTAL RECALL instead. I loved Arnold since the Commando days. I even got the Commando flat top hair cut in grade school, but I didn't know anything about Total Recall and I was still consumed by the whole RoboCop 2 idea.

Uncle Ralphie convinced me that Total Recall would be fine, so I sucked it up and begrudgingly trusted his advice...Damn I REALLY wanted to see RoboCop 2

Most of Total Recall was a blur to me. Off hand I recall some cool effects and weird aliens here and there, but one particular scene changed my life forever.

"The scene with the 3 titties". Yup thats right. Ask any guy and that's the only scene they'll remember from Total Recall. In the scene, Arnold approaches a woman at a bar and she opens her shirt to reveal not one, not two, but THREE boobs.

You have to understand, I was 10 years old at the time and I had never seen a boob in my life....so to go from 0 to 3 in one fell swoop was phenomenal. Add to that the fact that they were on the big screen, so they were at least 6 feet tall each....THREE. GIANT. BOOBS.

To a 10 year old boy, seeing boobs is like the ultimate...Or at least to me it was. I couldn't wait to tell all my friends at school, they'd all be SO jealous. Total Recall made me grow from a boy to a man...well, a young man.

I realize that I may come across as some sort of pervy loser in this little manifesto, but looking back I realize I learned a valuable life lesson that day. I was so consumed with RoboCop 2 and was so crushed when I realized I wouldn't be able to see it. But the Total Recall alternative opened my eyes to a whole new world of wonderment and endless possibility.

So in closing I'd like to say that sometimes in life your path may change from where you want it to go, but remember, the alternate path may have 3 huge titties waiting for you in the end...Metaphoric titties of course.

Who Is This Guy?

2010-04-11T22:41:00.002-04:00

Now, you may look at this picture and think..wow that guy looks hilarious....and you'd be right. But get this, his name is ROB HOAR...and he works for COXSACKIE Transport.

Don't believe me? CLICK HERE

Crate Diggin'

2010-04-11T21:49:00.005-04:00

While perusing the music selection at a garage sale, I came across this CD. Sadly for Stylz and The J.I.Z., I'm pretty sure the party didn't last All Nite.

It's Friday!!

2010-04-02T11:19:00.000-04:00

It's All Relative

2010-04-01T02:47:00.001-04:00

Last Supper Gets Super Sized

2010-03-30T23:36:00.003-04:00

According to a Cornell University study published in the International Journal of Obesity, food portions in depictions of the Last Supper painted over the past 1,000 years have increased. The study points to increases in the production, availability, safety, abundance and affordability of food.

Click Here for the full Story

Lets Get Douchey

2010-03-30T16:20:00.002-04:00

Dwight Howard to agent: "We've gotta find a way to "Douche Up" my image"

Agent to Dwight Howard: "I've got the perfect sponsor"

and....scene.

Worst T-Shirt Graphic Ever

2010-03-30T16:07:00.001-04:00

What happens when you combine 2 really popular T-shirt catch phrases? One STUPID shirt.

Awkward Moments Let You Know You're Alive

2010-03-30T15:55:00.004-04:00

Before the advent of digital cable, the only way to see what other shows were on TV was to watch the scrolling channel guide. Waiting for your favorite channels to scroll through was always the worst part of the channel guide.

While watching TV with Mom, the waiting became painfully awkward when the porn channels scrolled though. Imagine simultaneously reading the title "Slutty Sex Fiends 16" with Mom.....AWKWARD. Thank God for digital cable

There's Gotta Be A Better Way

2010-03-30T15:52:00.002-04:00

There's gotta be a better way to make 7 dollars.

Happy Monday

2010-03-22T00:29:00.002-04:00

A Random Google Image Drawing

2010-03-21T21:07:00.001-04:00

Every once in a while I like to get lost on the internet and search images in Google. This time I figured I'd try my hand at drawing an image that caught my eye.

Truth In Advertising

2010-03-20T10:20:00.000-04:00

I drank this soda and got a boner.

RIP BIG

2010-03-09T08:48:00.000-05:00

Now That's Just Plain Lazy

2010-03-04T21:39:00.003-05:00

While checking out at Duane Reade the other day, I noticed the latest issue of Cosmo in the magazine rack. NO I don't read Cosmo, but I was shocked at how lazy the copy editors have gotten. It seems like they just gave up and said "FUCK IT...these articles are all the same anyway."

Tilikum The Killer Whale's Interogation

2010-02-26T13:54:00.000-05:00

$24,000 Gandhi Pen? Makes Perfect Sense

2010-02-24T22:27:00.004-05:00

Luxury pen maker, Montblanc, has come under scrutiny for producing a pen with the likeness of the revered Indian spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi. The gold and silver limited edition pen is said to be contradictory to Gandhi's simple life style. There is currently a court battle to put a stop to the distribution of the $24,000 pen.

Meanwhile the 26-inch Mother Theresa commemorative rims are garnering little if any media attention at all.

It's Friday!!

2010-02-12T08:39:00.001-05:00

Who Is This Guy?

2010-02-10T21:08:00.000-05:00

Moment Of Clarity

2010-02-09T22:32:00.003-05:00

I use Facebook just as much as the next guy, but with the recent addition of a "TOP NEWS" link on the home page, I came to the realization that FB is a huge time waster. Are pork chops REALLY worthy of being categorized as "TOP NEWS" if so...my life is pathetic.

I'd write more on this subject... but I have to go update my status.

ALL DAY, ALL DAY, ALL DAY

2010-02-09T20:46:00.003-05:00

Just got some ALL DAY buttons made, cuz "ALL DAY" is the new "HELL YES".

If you see me, ask me for one. If you don't know me...buy some here

Ad You Missed During The Superbowl

2010-02-08T19:22:00.000-05:00

Let's Get Physical

2010-02-02T21:28:00.001-05:00

It's never a good thing when the elliptical gives you this message while you're working out.

Have An Action-Packed Valentines Day!!!

2010-02-02T00:06:00.005-05:00

With Valentine's Day only a few weeks away, why not impress that special someone in your life with either of these V-Day card sets? Remember, nothing says "I Love You" better than Ninjas, Machine Gun wielding soldiers, or transforming robots.

You're bound to get your Valentine's heart a-fluttering with the romantic messages on these cards.

No Accounting For Taste

2010-01-28T01:44:00.002-05:00

Why would anyone admit to HAVING naked pictures of Greg Oden? Dude looks like one of those old tree-men from Lord Of The Rings

Click Here for the full story.

Who Took This Picture?

2010-01-25T00:54:00.003-05:00

Have you ever seen a picture with this many insignificant people in it at the same time? I sure hope not. If I were in a club that Ja Rule, Vanilla Ice and Suge Knight were all in at the same time, I wouldn't want any physical evidence that I was there as well.

Happy Friday!!!

2010-01-22T08:17:00.000-05:00

Dirty Sanchez T-Shirt

2010-01-19T08:34:00.003-05:00

Just in time for the NFL Playoffs, comes THE DIRTY SANCHEZ T SHIRT. Support your favorite Mexican quarterback in style.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

The Internet Is Racist!

2010-01-12T22:15:00.004-05:00

Please note the above image was NOT altered in any way.

While registering for a website, I came to the security check at the end of the registration form. What are the odds that ME a Puerto Rican would receive the image above as the "random" security words? NOT LIKELY...

What are the odds that this has happened to me before? IMPOSSIBLE

In conclusion, the internet is racist. Thank you and good day.

A Throne Fit For A King

2010-01-11T15:37:00.002-05:00

And where can you find such regal home furnishings??? QUEENS of course!

Thanks A Lot Shaq

2010-01-05T18:19:00.002-05:00

It looks like Cleveland Caveliers Center Shaquille O'Neil has taken to leaving the streets strewn with his used condoms. What a disregard for human life and decency!

Click here to find out whats REALLY going on in the picture above

Happy Monday

2010-01-04T09:57:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T10:18:00.000-05:00

New Camouflage For British Soldiers

2009-12-21T12:48:00.005-05:00

According to BBC News, British troops in Afghanistan will be updating their uniforms for the first time in 40 years. The new multi-terrain camouflage pattern is said to be more effective in the wide range of Afghani environments. Judging by the image above, the new uniforms are working great!!!

Click here for the full story

Just In Time For The Holiday Movie Rush

2009-11-30T00:27:00.000-05:00

It's Friday!!

2009-11-20T00:53:00.001-05:00

You Decide

2009-11-17T20:50:00.003-05:00

Either this is a very realistic depiction of how Christ ascended to heaven or the art director for The Economist Magazine just bought themselves a one way ticket to Hell for making Brazil's famous Jesus statue look like a NASA rocket ship.

Anything For A Buck

2009-11-17T20:06:00.003-05:00

The Mouse has invaded your kitchen. Yes that's right, Disney has come down to manufacturing eggs. I guess making billions of dollars in movies, music, toys, books, and hotels wasn't enough. It even looks like the chickens were genetically altered to make eggs with Winnie The Pooh's face on them...Where will it end?

Worst Coat EVER.

2009-11-11T21:01:00.004-05:00

Introducing the worst coat...EVER. While perusing Daffy's I came across this coat. While in theory it might be a good idea...the reality just turns out to be...well, crappy. We all like to keep our hands warm during the winter, but not at the sake of looking like a retarded fire hydrant. Thumbs down BOMB BOOGIE clothing company.

check out another fashion disaster from Daffy's here

Gangsta Dolphins

2009-11-09T21:41:00.002-05:00

Marine biologist in California have finally discovered why so many porpoises have been washing ashore dead...Gangsta Dolphins.

This is the first time Dolphin-on-Porpoise violence has been recorded. Mobs of dolphins have been seen ramming and drowning Porpoises. One possible explanation for the violence is sexual angst due to the lack of female Dolphins.

Click here for the full story

It's Friday!!

2009-11-06T08:41:00.000-05:00

What's The Point?

2009-11-05T22:47:00.002-05:00

These ads bug the hell out of me. What does this woman and her spastic dancing have to do with financial aid? Maybe she's really happy she can finally afford to go to Pole Dancing school?

The Early Worm

2009-11-04T19:47:00.002-05:00

Boner Medicine

2009-11-04T10:44:00.003-05:00

Cialis has one of the most pointless ad campaigns I've ever seen. Why would you be sitting in separate tubs after taking medicine to give you a huge raging boner?

A Message From Frankenstein

2009-10-31T11:44:00.001-04:00

It's Friday!!

2009-10-30T08:38:00.000-04:00

Hind Sight Is 20/20

2009-10-28T07:38:00.004-04:00

Tennis superstar Andre Agassi has admitted to using the drug Chrystal Meth in a new book due to come out this November. Looking back, the acid wash tennis shorts and bleach blond mullet should've been a dead giveaway

Click here for the full story

Cardinals New Hitting Coach

2009-10-26T18:27:00.004-04:00

The St. Louis Cardinals announced today that former Cardinal and Home Run King Mark McGwire would be their new hitting coach next season. Seems to me they could've saved themselves a lot of money by cutting out the middle man.

Click here for the full story.

Scary Stuff

2009-10-26T08:05:00.003-04:00

The Halloween Ice Skating Spectacular on NBC just wouldn't be the same without the haunting soundtrack added by a live orchestra. I'm not sure if its the ghoulish make-up or perfectly pressed LL Bean blouse that gives the music that extra bit of scary.

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

2009-10-21T00:33:00.004-04:00

A Saudi man is suing one of his country's largest oil companies for the wrongful death of his prized camel. The devastated camel owner is asking for $250,000 in compensation for his beloved beast who was set to be a contestant in an upcoming camel beauty pageant.

A CAMEL BEAUTY PAGEANT?!? I guess that's the only time having a giant camel toe can help you win anything.

Click here for the full story

Settling For Less

2009-10-18T21:51:00.003-04:00

Should this place be proud of their ranking among other the Chinese restaurants in the area?

Its Friday!!!

2009-10-16T09:47:00.000-04:00

I'm Just Sayin'

2009-10-12T15:30:00.003-04:00

If you've ever seen a car commercial or looked at a Consumer Reports magazine, you're familiar with the name JD Power and Associates. They are said to be the authority and final word in rating consumer products from blenders to cars...But who the hell are these guys, and what makes their word so credible?...I'm just sayin'.

MTV? WTF?

2009-10-09T00:33:00.004-04:00

These days I hear a lot of people complaining about MTV's programming. Everybody wants to know where the Music went. Well, here's the embodiment of that complaint. On a regular weeknight at 11PM instead of filling an hour or two with music videos(or even one of their own crappy shows) MTV's programming department throws on The Matrix Reloaded. There's not even a vague connection to music in this movie...MTV?...WTF??

Out Of This World

2009-10-07T17:59:00.004-04:00

This week Nasa Scientists discovered a massive ring around Saturn...and an awful smell around Uranus.

Click Here for the full story

Chillin' On The Moon

2009-10-04T17:04:00.001-04:00

Who Is This Guy?

2009-10-04T16:42:00.004-04:00

Once again on my random travels on the Google Image Search, I've come across another interesting character. Meet Rick. The odd combo of a gun fighter mustache and psychedelic tshirt might make someone think he was the only hit man at Woodstock...but trust me, you'd be WAY off in making that assumption.

Click Here to learn more about our friend Rick.

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

2009-10-02T00:01:00.003-04:00

Let's Draw A Robot!

2009-09-22T00:48:00.001-04:00

It's Friday!!!

2009-09-04T09:52:00.000-04:00

Dirty Money

2009-08-24T09:39:00.003-04:00

A new study has found that US paper money ranks #1 in containing the highest traces of cocaine. Oddly enough, those same notes that contained high traces of cocaine also contained high traces of Darryl Strawberry

Click here for the entire story

Happy Monday

2009-08-24T08:39:00.001-04:00

Yao Ming Under Construction

2009-07-23T08:24:00.003-04:00

7'6" Houston Rockets center Yao Ming has decided to undergo surgery to repair a stress fracture in his giant foot. The surgery will likely make Yao miss the upcoming NBA season and cause traffic jams in a 30 mile radius of the Toyota Center where the Rockets play their home games.

Click Here for the full story

Happy Monday

2009-06-29T01:21:00.001-04:00

Who Is This Guy?

2009-06-23T22:52:00.005-04:00

On one of my usual Google image searches I came across Shaun. I don't know if it was the Koala Bear T-Shirt or his awesome collection of milk cartons that caught my attention first. One thing is for sure though, judging by this picture, Shaun is also collecting dust...on his genitals.

Click Here to learn more about Shaun

Bad Spelling Or Truth In Advertising?

2009-06-23T22:42:00.002-04:00

Either this Halal food kart doesn't come equipped with a spell check or they found a way to save money by using "CHEASE" instead of CHEESE in their steak sandwiches. You be the judge.

From Bad To Worse

2009-06-10T07:43:00.001-04:00

For an already struggling footwear company, this new tag line doesn't help matters. Where's Karl Malone when you need him?

The Fashion Equivalent Of A Mullet

2009-05-16T01:16:00.003-04:00

Party on top...Business on the bottom.

2 COOL FOR SCHOOL Tshirt

2009-04-19T22:39:00.002-04:00

Show those other loser parents your child is the coolest kid on the playground. 2 COOL FOR SCHOOL kids tshirt now available at cafepress.com

Overheard Hilarity

2009-04-16T00:23:00.000-04:00

A Dad and his two kids get on the 6 train. Daughter looks up at the ad for bunion removal.."That's what mommy's feet look like!!!!"

Donald Trump and Buju Banton Finally Collaborate

2009-04-12T22:05:00.006-04:00

It seems that Donald Trump has recruited none other than Dance Hall King Buju Banton to collaborate with on his latest literary work. THINK LIKE A CHAMPION is a collection of essays from Donald Trump's recommended reading list designed to help inspire success oriented thinking in the reader. I'm not quite sure how Buju Banton would come into the picture, but we all know that before you think like a champion, you have to WALK LIKE A CHAMPION

It's Friday!!!

2009-04-03T02:41:00.000-04:00

Now They've Gone Too Far

2009-04-02T20:08:00.002-04:00

My entire world was shattered the other day when I spotted these abominations. Crocs Boat Shoes. This is the equivalent of the ugliest girl and the nerdiest guy having sex and giving birth to a fugly shoe.

I Heart Bacon TShirt Now Available!

2009-04-02T20:01:00.002-04:00

FRNYC is proud to present the "I Heart Bacon" TShirt. Now you can proudly display your affection for the world's most beloved breakfast meat.

Click here to order

Where's The Flavor?

2009-03-07T09:13:00.003-05:00

I'm all for eating healthy, but I think this is just too much. Salt free potato chips? Soon they'll just start selling air in a bag for people to snack on.

Happy Monday

2009-03-02T08:07:00.000-05:00

3rd Annual Winter Jamboree: Karaoke Edition

2009-02-26T08:51:00.000-05:00

ഹാപ്പി മോണ്ടി

2009-02-23T09:56:00.000-05:00

Who Is This Guy?

2009-02-22T19:10:00.003-05:00

We all know that the internet is bursting at the seams with interesting characters, well, this guy is definitely a tribute to that sentiment. While surfing the web I came across Anoop....Who could he be? The Indian BB King perhaps? The determined look in his eye leads me to believe he's got success locked in his sites...whatever the hell that means.

Click here to find out more about Anoop.

Lance Armstrong's Bike Goes Missing

2009-02-16T21:24:00.003-05:00

Lance Armstrong's one-of-a-kind bicycle was stolen yesterday after a race in California. Apparently it was taken from one of his team's storage trucks. Fortunately for Lance there was another bike available on the scene for him to use.

Click here for the full story

Some NFL Analysis

2009-01-11T18:03:00.003-05:00

With my somewhat limited knowledge of football, I can deduct this from the N.Y. Giants 23-11 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles this weekend.

Happy Monday

2009-01-05T00:29:00.001-05:00

Obama Inauguration T-shirt

2009-01-04T13:23:00.004-05:00

FlyingRatNYC's Obama Inauguration Day T-Shirts are now available on Cafepress.com. Available in all sizes for Men, Women, and Children. Be the coolest person in D.C. on January 20th with this one of a kind design.

Nike: Covering Every Market

2009-01-04T12:52:00.003-05:00

While surfing the Nike website the other day, I came across the "Air Insurgent". Is Nike is trying to reach the untapped "Iraqi Freedom Fighter" market with this shoe? I'm sure it provides amazing grip and support for launching rocket propelled grenades.

Click here to check out the Air Insurgents on the Nike Website

Whales + Sharks = Killer Whales

2008-11-30T19:25:00.002-05:00

New Holiday Tradition?

2008-11-18T23:49:00.005-05:00

Nat King Cole's famous holiday tune about "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire" sounds way more appealing than this hotdog stand's version of "Chestnuts roasting under a 40 watt bulb."

Worst Job EVER

2008-11-07T08:11:00.004-05:00

Zookeepers in at Zoo New England say Gigi the Gorilla is doing fine after receiving a colonoscopy earlier this week. The zoo staff ran several tests (including the colonoscopy) to find the cause of the gorilla's digestive problems. The doctor who administered the test is also said to be recovering after hours and hours of hand washing in an effort to get rid of the "gorilla ass" smell.

Click here for the full story